Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Princess And The Bicycle Haiku

Many years ago I met a princess. I don't mean that in a figurative or sarcastic sense. She was a genuine princess of true Royal lineage. She was also of exceptional beauty and wit. Everyone throughout the land thought her perfect.

I was no exception to the rule. And, as you might imagine, I was instantly smitten.

I got to know her just well enough to find out that she was only nearly perfect. Somehow, with all of her grace and grandeur and access to limitless resources, she made it into adulthood without ever learning to ride a bicycle.

I offered to teach her, and when she declined, I sent her beautiful and inspirational haiku on the subject...

Sex Kitten

Hey there, Sex Kitten
You've been riding in my dreams
On a tricycle.

Green Bike

Green bike with flowers
Training wheels would have tamed you
But now I'm too scared.

The Secret

I have a deep dark
Secret that I keep hidden
I'm afraid of bikes.

The Excuse

I would ride that bike
But I hear banana seats
Can give you herpes.


  1. Oh how I LOVE your haikus! The last one is the best! I definately needed that laugh on such a dreary morning!

  2. Wonderful!

    I love riding bikes...but my sister hates it. Do you really think we're related, or is there something else going on here?

  3. I love the last one. Gave me a much needed laugh today :)

    Great blog!

  4. Hunter,
    I will always see bikes in a different way now, and maybe my fear to ride one down hill will wane, but I will alway be weary of "banana seats"

  5. Hi, Amber. Thanks. The haiku are fun to write.

    Hi, erin. Could be something more sinister going on. ;)

    Hi, clo. The last one is my personal favorite of the bunch as well.

    Hi, Bob. Consider that banana seat thing a public service announcement.

  6. Hi Hunter,
    Hope that you are doing well. I just loved this post! Did you mean by Royalty you meant me? LOL!!! But I can already ride a bike, but you are always welcome to come and help me out! Far too many hills around here, but it's like flying when you free-wheel downhill at speed!

  7. Besides the fact I just gave me nose a caffiene fix when I read banana seats give you herpes, I now have to make a DR. appointment because according to you, I got herpes when I was 12! Great as always.

  8. Sheer genius. Haiku suit you.

  9. Honestly, best Haiku ever created in the history of man. No, I am not exagerating. Yes, I am an expert on the subject of haikus and therefore my word is law.

  10. Hi, Alice. Nothing like free-wheeling on a bicycle. I wonder if the princess ever learned.

    Hi, PMFOOW. Thank you kindly, sir.

    Hi, Leah. Thanks. They are a bit silly but fun to write.

    Hi, Lola. Thank you. So it is written. So it is law. ;)

  11. Hi, Mike. If makes you feel better to blame it on the bicycle seat, that's fine by me. ;)

  12. That's it! The next time I have a moral dilemma to overcome I'm going to do it with haiku.

    Thanks Mister Hunter
    Haikus can save your bacon
    Ew, you said herpes

  13. I wish I had a knack for haiku, but I don't. Yours are priceless! Good job.

  14. great haiku. did the princess learn to ride or she's still free of herpes? :)

  15. Hi, VA. I see that you have skillz. Maybe one day we can do a joint haiku venture.

    Hi, OWO. Thank you.

    Hi, Sarah. It's tough to say about the princess. Wish I knew.

  16. Yeah....Haiku day again!!! this makes my day!

  17. Oh yes! Bring it. I am the Haiku Queen (self-professed of course).

  18. A royal sex kitten who can't ride a bike? No way! LOL!

    Nice haikus!

  19. Sweet! Everyone should get to go bike riding, even princesses! Great fun.

  20. Hello, hello, sorry to get here late. I have a question...what is a banana seat?

    I'm pretty sure that the image in my head that phrase creates is

    a) wrong
    b) illegal
    c) possibly incredibly dangerous in a very physical sense

    Please enlighten me when you have time.

    Thank you. That is all.

  21. Hi, VA. Let's circle back on this in a couple of weeks. Email me if you have any topics in mind. Sounds like fun!

    Hi, Charlene. Crazy, right?

    Hi, Sandra. Thank you.

    Hi, livesby. Welcome! And, yes, a banana seat is a bit of an embarrassing misnomer. It's basically a long hard... Err, I'm not helping matters. Maybe a google image search?

  22. Yeah, that wooed here, all right. LOL. The banana seat no doubt sealed it until the herpes line.....

  23. Sorry I'm so late to comment.

    I can't ride a bicycle and you know my passionate love for haikus, so I think this post is made of WIN.

    : )

  24. Wooing is an art... rarely involving herpes as a lure. Great work. What was her reply?

  25. Hi, I Wonder Wye. Yeah, VD references probably aren't ideal for wooing.

    Hi, S&C. No worries. I take all comments. Glad you liked the haiku.

    Hi, Sass. Agreed. No idea what ever became of her. She really did consider the bike thing a terrible dark secret though. Interesting how people can manufacture monsters...

  26. "manufacture monsters"

    i just love this. maybe it's halloween looming in the near future, or maybe just creepy alliteration.

  27. I am so happy to have happened across your blog.

    I think traditional Japanese painters put a small imperfection in their paintings on purpose, to show the beauty in the flaw, and the flaw in the beauty? That's what your princess reminded me of :)

    Love the Haiku!