Many years ago I met a princess. I don't mean that in a figurative or sarcastic sense. She was a genuine princess of true Royal lineage. She was also of exceptional beauty and wit. Everyone throughout the land thought her perfect.
I was no exception to the rule. And, as you might imagine, I was instantly smitten.
I got to know her just well enough to find out that she was only nearly perfect. Somehow, with all of her grace and grandeur and access to limitless resources, she made it into adulthood without ever learning to ride a bicycle.
I offered to teach her, and when she declined, I sent her beautiful and inspirational haiku on the subject...
Hey there, Sex Kitten
You've been riding in my dreams
On a tricycle.
Green bike with flowers
Training wheels would have tamed you
But now I'm too scared.
I have a deep dark
Secret that I keep hidden
I'm afraid of bikes.
I would ride that bike
But I hear banana seats
Can give you herpes.